Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
The air was thick with penises
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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