what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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