Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I am mentally ready for anal.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
