when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
i out mim tonsoeep
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