i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
It's blow job season.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
