He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
