wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
