she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
