hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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