Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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