i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
