i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
