i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize