I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
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