New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
My liver is preforming stress tests.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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