I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
