remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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