Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Randomize
