i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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