Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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