birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize