So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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