Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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