the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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