Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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