My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
