can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
