A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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