I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
