Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
