member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
