Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
