Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
