12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
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