Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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