Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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