Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
