Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
