The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Randomize
