Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
