I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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