I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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