someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize