its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
