Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.

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(631): View more from New York

But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.

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(847): View more from Illinois

we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u

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(205): View more from Alabama

TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.

(205): View more from Alabama

better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.

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(905): View more from Ontario

"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"

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(+61): View more from Australia

I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today

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(313): View more from Michigan

its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.

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(501): View more from Arkansas

I think you're overestimating how drunk I was

(1-501): View more from Arkansas

You said your pillow felt like the ocean...

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