So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
