He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
