i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
