If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize