they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize