We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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