Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize