I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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