Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
