is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
