Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
