sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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