i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
