you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
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