it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
