i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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