how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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