I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
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