I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
