is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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