nut hugger
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
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