What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
