No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
there was a trapeze. enough said
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
