We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Holy sore nipples Batman
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
