see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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