Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
