were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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