real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
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